I’m convinced

I have been asking those I have known while doing research what word they prefer if “birthmother” is not used.  Out of 17, only one was comfortable with natural mother, but all agreed that first mother would be okay.  At least, 14 were minors and had no say in the matter.  They all felt their parents made the best choice they knew how to make at the time.  They felt sure they would continue to be “birthmothers” because they are comfortable with it.  Yes, habits and terminology change slowly.

I do believe we need a term that is least painful to as many mothers as possible.  I will try to remember to use “first mother” in my writings, at least until a more acceptable term comes along (if there is one).  Please keep the comments coming.  This is how change comes about---one person at a time.

Whatever part of the triad you are, check out the different web sites and blogs to get other views.  It seems that each person feels they are the only one who has been dealing with the pain of adoption.  This simply is not true.  Each of the triad dealt with pain.  Adoption changes the lives of everyone, not just the individual.

For those who just want to understand what the “adoption discussion” is all about, be sure you view a mix of web sites and blogs by the triad.  There are numerous books and articles on the subject, mostly written by one of the triad, but not all.  The Adoption Triad Asks: Who am I really?

Consider attending a conference about adoption.  There are several and I will mention them closer to the dates.

Until next time,
Alice