Every time I Turn Around...

Every time I turn around, it seems I bump into another member of the adoption triad-adoptee, mother who had to relinquish her baby, or a parent who adopted a child.  All of them want or need to talk to someone who will not judge them.  There is so much pain, so much each wish they knew about the circumstances of their past or the past of their family members. 

I am studying communication and  my classes confirm what I always thought,  relationships  fail because there is not  good, open conversation between the members.  There are classes in interpersonal communication that should be required for all students from elementary through post graduate levels and in all disciplines.  We can solve problems unless we know how to explain that there are problems.  Mostly, we communicate the way our childhood family communicated.  That means there are many different ways from near silence to taking about everything openly and without reserve. 


Some families have lots of secrets, some seem to have nothing that is off-limits.  Imagine what happens when someone who had been told his or her mother had abandoned him or her and while searching the Internet, finds that mother and learns the truth.  Sometimes, it is a bitter divorce with a father who has more money and is able to gain full custody of the children.  In each case I've heard about, the mother was anxious to connect with her now adult children and introduce them to her family and his or her half-siblings.  I am hearing some great stories.  Even though they are not really adoption stories, the son or daughter believe their mother has abandoned them without reason, without caring.  The mothers have been kept from having contact with her children.  Your thoughts, please.


Until next time,
Alice